Just like to many other parents, you want the best for your kids, to include the best of yourself. Many of us were brought up in a very different environment to that which is promoted today as the ideal setting to raise kids. The best thing you can do is sign up to personal growth seminars for parents, where you will learn new ways to interact with your child and guide his or her education. 

What are personal growth activities?

They are also known as "Parenting schools” or any other name that includes the parents. It may be a one-day seminar, several, or year-round. Experts offer tips concerning how to deal with issues that most parents will face at some point, and that may cause friction or misunderstandings.  

One of the problem times during child-rearing is around 2-years old, when they begin to be aware of their independence, when they start potty-training or go to day-care. These courses can also deal with obesity in kids or drugs.  

If they offer this kind of course in your community or school, do not pass up the opportunity. Besides giving knowledge that can be very useful for you, they will help you meet other parents in your situation and who may be able to share their experience in overcoming the problems associated every age.

The pillars of play

Although some of these programs are only aimed at parents, many others blend theory with practice and they require your kids to participate. Besides learning how to deal with difficult situations or what experts recommend concerning positive discipline in these personal growth courses you will discover that the latest studies prove that children use play as the best vehicle for learning.  

Playing is no longer considered a more or less necessary “rest” from the hours of learning, but it is a way of learning in itself. There are games for all ages, designed for each one of the child’s developmental areas.  

A very attractive and fun part of these programs is that you will participate with your kids in the games and they will teach you what you can practice at home to improve their skills. Every age has a different developmental plan.

Even pre-teens benefit from play and interacting with their parents. It is a very effective tool to improve family communication.

Know what to expect

Sometimes, many of the frustrations that the parents suffer during the different phases of development of their children arise from the lack of understanding of the point at which the child is. For example, many parents interpret the “no” phase children go through at around 2-years old as rebelliousness, but in fact it is not about that at all.  

If you know what to expect from your child and the reasons for the phase he or she is undergoing, it will be a lot easier to navigate these changes together.

At times, we are so used to being with our partner and sharing daily routines, that it is easy to forget the reason for which we chose to be with that person in the first place. Daily obligations like grocery shopping, taking care of the children, doing the laundry or cleaning house, take up a lot of time and energy. The danger of routine and exhaustion is that it may put out the flame that brought you together. So, don’t take your partner for granted.   

Small details that count

You may be aware of the fact that you have little time to be together and rekindle the romance you had early on in your relationship. To compensate for this, you may be buying gifts on special dates, such as anniversaries or taking your partner out on special occasions. But if these are few and far between, you may need to give your partner more reminders of why you are together.  

Small details can make a big difference in a monotonous relationship. Besides brightening the other person’s day, you will create an atmosphere conducive to this kind of exchange and you will also have very positive results. Following are some tips:

• The power of Post-its: leave love notes, thank-you notes or even jokes on the fridge, on the night-stand or on the bathroom mirror. You will at least make him or her smile.

• Love notes. Put a love note in his brown bag lunch, and include a treat. He will be thinking of you while enjoying his lunch.

• Prepare a special lunch for him or her to take to work. Even if you don’t have time to do it daily, try to include – as a surprise – his favorite dish in his lunchbox.  You will brighten his day.

• Do your partner’s chores one day and make him a coffee or tea to spend some time together. Do the laundry, iron the clothes, rake the leaves in the backyard or do any other chore that is usually your partner’s responsibility.  

• Prepare a surprise weekend. You don’t necessarily have to go anywhere. If you have kids, a weekend alone at home could be as relaxing as a mini-vacation.  

• Buy her an inexpensive token of love that will show you are thinking of her. It could be a card, a pendant or any other little something.

• Give your partner the day off. That would be a day on which your partner may decide what he or she wants to do, and you should follow along. Besides cheering him or her up, that will help you find out what he/she really enjoys doing. 

Recovering the fun times

These are some suggestions, but as you know your partner better, you may come up with many more. The objective is to reestablish the connection, the fun and partnership between you: what you had when you met. Try this method out for a couple of weeks at least and you’ll see how there are certain things that do start to change.

Throughout the latest generations, community and family life has changed a lot. It is common to be far away from our family members and to not even know who our neighbors are. Individualism and the capacity to solve our own problems are highly valued nowadays. However, there are moments when receiving help from others is more than a blessing: it is vital for of survival.

When to ask for help.

You should know your limits and how it affects the people around you (especially children) that you have reached the end of your rope. We are often worn out and we don’t have the network of family and friends who can support us. Problems that used to be solved as a group now fall on the shoulders of one or two people.

Common examples of these situations are when an elderly member of the family requires special care. In our culture, it is expected that the younger generations take care of the elders. But usually the families who have to take care of the elders are raising small children and have long work days, and then difficult situations may arise.  

Other problems may arise when a family member falls ill and needs help. If there is a financial problem that the family can’t solve by itself, or when a mother has a baby and there is no-one else to give a hand.  

How to ask for help

Keep in mind that even if you don’t have the help of your family and you don’t know other people in your community, there is help available. In order to get help, the first step – as obvious as it may seem – is to know that you need it and ask for it.  Once you’ve got started on this path, you’ll be surprised at all the doors that may open for you.

Besides talking to the people you trust the most, to let them know you need help, try something as simple, but effective, as mailing a personal note to your neighbors or letting them know in person. If your problem is that you can’t leave an elderly person alone in the morning or in the evening, explain this to them and ask them to contact you.  

If you can’t find help nearby or if your problem cannot be solved with the help of other people, use the Internet. Enter your question in the search engine, either in Spanish or in English for more results, and you will surely find some information that will be of help. Do not forget more traditional methods such as checking the yellow pages, calling the town hall, speaking with people in your church or the people in your area.

In this Information Era, someone somehow will give you that help that you need or will point you in the right direction to achieve it. The first step is to ask for it.