Your father may have been very involved in your daily life, but it is far more likely that the father figure you know in your childhood has little to do with the type of father and, especially, the type of relationship modern experts consider desirable.

Your newborn

In our culture, it is common that when a baby is born, the first months are exclusively spent with the mother, who is the person feeding it and taking care of its primary needs. The general belief was that babies don’t know anyone other than their mothers. And fathers used to wait for their cue to “go onstage” when the baby was a little older, and they could play and interact with him.  

However, this concept has changed in the last years, with the advancement of the studies of the fetus and the baby. We now know, for example, that your baby has been able to listen to your voice throughout the pregnancy, that she recognizes it when she is born, and that she benefits from being in close contact with you.  

A way to create a close relationship with your baby is to actively participate in taking care of her and feeding her. Even if your wife is breastfeeding, she can puma her milk and you can give the baby a bottle (preferably during the night, so that your spouse can sleep a couple more hours). Changing her diapers, speaking to her, reading stories, are all great ways to strengthen your relationship with your baby, and for your baby to benefit from your presence.

Young children

As your child grows and her motor skills develop, you will have the opportunity of playing with her a lot more. Playing and reading are two areas in which parents may interact for the benefit of the child.

Playing hide-and-seek is a lot of fun during the baby’s first months. It can be played in many ways: you can either hide an object or hide yourself and then pop out in front of your baby. This teaches your child the permanence of objects, even if she can’t see them.

Games that promote gross motor skills or the development of the larger muscles are fun because they involve movement and action, which both children and fathers enjoy. Games such as making your child ride “horsey” on your knees, taking her for a piggy-back ride, or any other game that involves physical activity will be fun for you, and will also stimulate her development.  

Seven years-old and up

At this age children can play games that are more related to sports such as skating, bike-riding, playing soccer, or any other similar activity.  Team sports such as soccer or baseball can be a lot of fun for both father and child.

Your child’s intellectual skills are far more developed, and that’s why a pleasant activity is to play board games that are appropriate for his age, as well as reading. Reading together, commenting on the story you are reading, or creating new stories is an excellent exercise for his imagination.  

As a rule, your child will feel enthused about any activity which you participate in.

Gone are the days when a father waited impatiently in the waiting room, chain-smoking, until he was told his child was born and he could see him through a glass. The way women give birth nowadays is much more open and the father participates actively. But, do you feel comfortable with this?

Hispanic fathers and the importance of labor

Traditionally in our culture, other women were the ones assisting during labor. The mom, the sister or even the mother-in-law would encourage and support the future mom during this ordeal. In the last couple of years, Hispanic men have begun to participate more intensely and actively in the delivery process.

It's common to expect the father to be with the future mom during delivery, to massage her, encourage her and give her his support during the delivery phase of pushing, and finally, have him cut the umbilical cord. Nevertheless, although there are Hispanic fathers who feel very proud of participating in this process, there are others for whom this may be a shocking experience.

A study shows that among Hispanic parents, the comfort offered by Hispanic fathers to their spouses was different from that which the hospital's staff generally expected. A traditional way to comfort a wife is to hold her hand and simply offer tender words of support. Women in this study showed that they felt very happy with this type of support.

It's important for you to offer your spouse support during labor, and it will be even more effective if you find a way to do it which you feel comfortable with. Talk to your spouse before labor about how she would like you to support her and how you would like to offer her your support.

A father for your children

It's a fact that a child needs a father figure for their development. Fathers have a different type of relationship with their children from their mother's and it is a very beneficial one for the child. But nowadays being a father doesn’t mean solely taking care of the finances, as used to be the case in many traditional families in the past: being a father means to participate actively in your child's daily life and activities.

The contact you have with your child is giving him a unique way of relating to others. Mothers tend to be the caregivers and comforters, while fathers play more with them and provide them with more physical contact. It's common for the father to play "monster" and run after them around the house while they giggle, and the mom is the one who lulls them to sleep (although there are families, of course, where the roles are reversed).

From the way you play with your child, even to the way you encourage him to explore new adventures or how you tell him off, your child is learning a new way to relate to the world. Besides, the father figure is a great help in defining your child's identity, especially if it is a boy.

You may have grown up in a traditional environment in which your father didn't participate much in games or your emotional life and you may find it difficult to imagine yourself in that role. However, there are many ways to be present in your child's life, not only for the healthy development of your child, but so that you can enjoy him as much as possible too.

The Father's Role

It's a fact that a child needs a father figure for their development. Fathers have a different type of relationship with their children from their mother's and it is a very beneficial one for the child. But nowadays being a father doesn’t mean solely taking care of the finances, as used to be the case in many traditional families in the past: being a father means to participate actively in your child's daily life and activities.

The contact you have with your child is giving him a unique way of relating to others.