Being the only person in change of a family is hard and sometimes overwhelming. There is no one else to share the decision-making concerning education, discipline, or finances. Nevertheless, you can keep your family going and provide your children with the best environment and parenting you can give them; millions of single-parent families do so everyday in the United States.

Routines, stability and honesty

There are a number of things which you can do to be a better parent under these circumstances. One of them is providing a structured environment with set rules. This will give your children a sense of security and make the family relationship more relaxed. Routines are a good practice as well as being clear and consistent with establishing positive discipline.

Set schedules, write them down and place them in the kitchen or the living room and try to stick to them as much as possible. Knowing "what's next" will help your kids know what follows and they won't feel "adrift".

Something else you mustn't forget is to allow your children to be "children". The lack of another adult's support may make it tempting to burden your child with many responsibilities, although in fact your children should have their own set of family responsibilities. But you must be realistic about what responsibilities your child can handle. Don't ask your child to solve a grown-up problem.

Single-parent children, especially if it's a single mother, understand the burden there is on the parent and some of them tend to feel overly responsible. Although at this time any help is more than welcome, try to allow your children to do what is normal for their age.

Also, speak to your children honestly about your financial situation and about what you can't afford, but don't blame your ex-partner for the situation. If your ex is not paying his or her part, speak about it as a fact, but without adding any derogatory comments.

First put on your own oxygen mask.

This warning given on planes is a good rule of thumb to keep in mind when there is only one person in charge of the family. If you are not well, are not taking care of yourself, not sleeping enough, or not following a healthy diet, take your time to relax, have fun and take care of yourself or you won't be able to give your family what they need from you.

In single-parent families, work hours add to the housework hours, which nobody shares with you (even if your kids take on responsibilities for their age).

In the daily routines you must find time for you. This is something any adult needs, but much more in your case, since your children depend on you. Perhaps you might not be able to take a long break, or a few days away, but a little time for yourself everyday will help you be emotionally and physically balanced. Some alone time in the mornings to have your coffee at sunrise when your children are still sleeping or half an hour after leaving work to walk around the park might be just what you need to face the chores that are waiting for you at home in a more relaxed frame of mind.

If you can't afford a sitter on a regular basis, at least hire one once a week so you can go out to the movies, spend time with friends, go on a date, or simply be by yourself, away from your responsibilities. These simple measures will help you be emotionally and physically fit to enjoy your family.

As a single parent, perhaps you might sometimes feel that you are alone against the world and feel overwhelmed because of the weight of your responsibility. Nevertheless, it is very important to remember that you do have help available to you. As well as your personal network of friends and family, you can get help from organizations thought especially for people in situations like yours.

You don't have to go it alone.

Being a single parent requires certain adjustments in your behavior and way of thinking, to be able to make the most of your situation. And one of the things that create more stress is the need to do things to perfection or a certain way. Perhaps back when you had someone else with you for support it was possible, but that may no longer be the case.

Honestly ask yourself if it's necessary to have the beds perfectly made before leaving the house, or if all the clothes have to be ironed or if you have to mow the lawn weekly. Make a list of priorities and learn to minimize the importance of things.

Another problem single parents face, having been self sufficient before, is asking for help. You may not be used to asking for help and may think that doing so is a sign of weakness, or that you will be indebted if you do. But there is nothing wrong with asking for help and building a support network with your parents, friends and family. By asking for help you are teaching your children a very healthy part of human relationships.

Asking for help for your child

Sometimes the difficulties of a divorce or the problems that arise from living with a single parent can affect a child. When there is a crisis and a child isn't responding to discipline or rules that are trying to be laid out by a single parent, this can affect the whole family, precisely because there is only one parent to handle it.

If your son's behavior is out of control at home, or if he is being told off at school constantly about situations that are not acceptable it is important to ask for help as soon as possible. Talk to other people that are a part of your child's life, such as teachers, trainers or even friends, to have a clearer picture of what is happening and then, seek help. There are organizations that provide emotional help in these situations.

Organizations that will help you

There are organizations that can offer social, emotional, financial and legal support to single parents. Following, you will find federal resources, non-governmental organizations and also some private ones. Many of them are in English, but they usually have someone who speaks Spanish and can give you the information you need by calling a certain number.

• Office of Family Assistance (OFA)

The Health and Human Services Department of the United States has an Office of Family Assistance. This office provides temporary assistance to families in need, among them families with children under their care

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/ofa/

• Women, babies and children (known as WIC program)

This program provides food for babies and children up to five years old.

        http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/

• Maternal and Child Health Bureau

This is a program that belongs to the Health and Human Services Department that can help you find health and other related resources in your area.

http://mchb.hrsa.gov/

• State Medical Coverage Program for Children

This is a program that offers medical coverage for low income babies and children.

www.insurekidsnow.gov

• Your Single Parenting (Blog)

Wonderful blog for Single Parents full of useful resources and articles.  Covers topics from Child care to education to enrichment programs, finances, health care, parental support, and much more!

www.yoursingleparenting.com

• MOMS (Mothers on a Mission)

This is a non-governmental organization that provides single parent families aid. They have babysitter clubs and organized activities.

www.singlemoms.org

• Parents Without Partners

This is a private group which organizes events for single parents and their children.

     www.parentswithoutpartners.org

• singleparentsmatcher.com and singleparentlove.com

These two groups provide dating services for single parents.

www.singleparentsmatcher.com

www.singleparentlove.com

More than one out of four children in the United States lives in single-parent home. According to the data of the United States census over 13 million families in this country consist of only one parent. In most cases the mother is the one who keeps the children. Single-parent families are those in which there are children or young sons or daughters under 18 and the mother or the father takes care of them. These families face unique problems.

The first stage

The first months or years after you separate from your partner can be very difficult, because you will have to face some situations alone where before you could count on the support of another person, and you'll have to make certain decisions about education and the well-being of your children on your own.

Nevertheless, if your situation is due to a divorce, it helps to think that data shows that children in families with parents which are abusive, unstable, and constantly fighting with each other, have more problems and progress less than the children of a single-parent family. So, although at times it might be hard, remember that you are offering them the best possible upbringing.

In these months it is very important to obtain all the help you can get, for when you need it. Besides looking for support in organizations that can help you, establish a network of people which you can count on, from family members and friends, to neighbors or even a group support group for single parents. Make this list and keep it handy to remind yourself that you are not alone, that there are many like you and that you can ask for help when you need it.

Financial difficulties

Among the challenges single parents face is the lack of financial support. Although there are many ex-husbands or wives that meet their financial obligations, there are others who don't. The problem worsens due to the fact that they have to take care of their children and can't take on a full-time job.

It's a good idea to get legal support which some organizations provide to find out how you to collect the payments from your ex-spouse, and also to get an idea of where you stand financially. If your spouse was the one in charge of the finances you may feel overwhelmed because you don't know how to handle them. Remember that you can get help to answer some of your questions.

Emotional challenges

Single-parent families with financial difficulties face additional problems. These families usually have more emotional and behavioral problems because of the pressure that taking care of the whole family entails.

For this reason it's advisable to find time for yourself and in this way better respond to your children's needs. One of the best things you can do for your children is to be emotionally present when you are with them. Simply playing with them, going for a walk or any quiet activity that shows them you "are there" is fine. It's very normal to feel sad after a break up, and it's very necessary to go through this "mourning", but try to find time alone to do this.

Try to eliminate any existing tension with your ex partner. Try to ask your children questions about the other parent keeping calm; don't try to pressure your children into choosing between the two of you.

And remember that although at the beginning being a single parent may be very difficult, as you build your new life and new relationships everything will gradually fall into place in the end.